Serious Risks

I've been trying to figure something out. My future.
There are many choices in front of me. I'm young, I have the time to take steps in one direction and if I don't like it I can go another, right? Because I have to much time in front of me it shouldn't be such a big deal to take time to try a couple different paths and discover which one is what I want to do with the rest of my life.

But it doesnt' feel that way. I feel like every choice in front of me is a risk. Because they all seem to ask for a 3+ year commitment. And after those three years I won't feel so young.

In the past 4 weeks 6 of my friends have gotten engaged and I feel like these kids have gotten life figured out and are stepping out and living. And I'm still standing in the same place, clueless as to what to do next.

Something I don't want to admit, because if I do, my brothers will have won. I don't like giving my brothers the satisfaction of having victory. When I was younger (ok, maybe only last month) they would tell me that I take things to seriously. I would always argue and tell them it wasn't true. But maybe it is, I take life to seriously. How can I not though? I feel like these major life choices are happening right now and each choice is a risk.

So my dilemma is this... So I need to calculate and be serious about these next few steps I have to take? Or is it one of those things where I have to listen to my brothers wise words and realize that I'm taking life too seriously and just learn to take risks with my life?

The wonderful thing to know is that I have faith on my side. Faith that even if I mess up and make a wrong decision. God will still want to work with me. It's a good thing that the most important thing in this life is having relationship with God, and as long as I'm pursuing that I don't think I can mess up too terribly.

Prayers

First and foremost I want to thank everyone who has been praying for me. It's been so encouraging to hear from different people who have been praying. It's helped me keep going here.

Being new to this whole sitting down and actually doing homework thing, I was struggling to get all my homework done each week. I kept trying and trying, my grader has been nothing but encouraging and always telling me that if I need help making  a schedule or anything else that I could ask her. But  I thought I could do it on my own, I was wrong.
This week is a very important and key week, we are studying the books of Kings and if we didn't buckle down and study kings we would miss out on a lot of the meaning to the books of the prophets, which is what we are studying next. My attempts at doing all my work were not working and I didn't want this week to be a week were I missed the main point to something and then end up not understanding the prophets. So I asked for help, I didn't want to, but I did. And guess what! It was a great thing. My leader and I sat down and she helped me make a schedule and she was so kind and is letting me study in her apartment, away from people. Because if I'm with people, I can't help but talk to them and thus, not get any work done.
At the moment, I am on schedule and getting all the needed homework done, praise God! If I can do this everyweek and learn to manage my time well enough, very soon I will be able to join one of the amazing ministries that go on here at the base. There are two things I've been dying to do.
One of them is the orphanage, twice a week people go to the orphanage to do dishes and help change and feed the babies there. The thing is, you have to wake up at 5 in the morning to go. So as soon as I get to a place where I'm not worried about homework all the time I will go!
The other ministry is "Zona Norte". In this ministry a group of people go and does a prayer walk through the red light district in Tijuana. When I first heard what this ministry did my heart jumped! One of my favorite things I did on my outreach in Brazil was work with the prostitutes in the city of Brasilia. There we got to go from bus stop to bus stop to pray, encourage and pass out roses to girls and tell them how they are beautiful. Seeing the change and light that came into the girls eyes as they listened to what we had to say and watching some of them come to except Christ was one of the most awe-inspiring things I did there. So the ministry of "Zona Norte" is something that is on my heart and I can't wait till I accomplish what God brought me here to do (school) and when I feel like I can, I will start joining people in these ministries.
Here is another missionaries blog on the ministry of "Zona Norte"  http://girlrelentless.blogspot.com/2011/11/pink.html

I have 3 more days of studying the books of Kings and I'm loving it! I've read the book twice before I came here and even reading it for the 3rd time while being here I thought it pretty boring. But as I study it, and really look at each king, the book is coming alive. Honestly though, the book is heartbreaking. Evil after evil king rules over Israel and Judah and brings them further and further away from God.
Actually, studying most of the old testament is pretty depressing. God is so faithful to his people, his promises and covenant he made with them. Israel just doesn't seem to care most of the time. I would like something a little less downhearted. I'm ready to read about Jesus!

So again, thank you for praying
Here are a couple of things you could keep praying for...

1) That I can keep the discipline and work-ethic I've got going this week
2) More revelation and excitement for each book I study
3) Health, I've had a cold this week and a lot of headaches lately.

Love you all!

In honor of the 5th

Hello my friends,
I can't say much right now, I am coming to the end of my all-nighter and I'm a bit tired. But today is the 5th of november and it is a day to be remembered.

I've always loved the movie V for Vendetta and thankfully I'm with a friend here in mexico that loves the move too, so we will be watching it tonight. A few of my favorites quotes from the movie...

V- His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot. 

Evey- That the world needs more than just a building right now. It needs hope. 

Gordon- You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it. 

V- Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof. 

Evey- Who are you? 

V- Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask. 

Evey- Well I can see that. 

V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. 

Evey- He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up. 

V- A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having! 

V-People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

Valerie- Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free

Have a happy 5th!

Word Designs

So! I've been inspired by this graphic designer Jim Lepage. I've always loved his work and wanted to do something like it but never thought I would have the chance!
BUT now I'm going through each book of the bible and have 8 months of it left! I will try my hardest to keep making a different art piece for each book. So far I've drawn something for Ruth and done a little graphic design for 1st and 2nd Samuel. I will try and use the key verse from each book for the inspiration for my designs. But I might just use whatever inspires me the most in the book.
I highly recommend checking out Jim Lepages work though! His work is really awesome and has great meanings behind it. Plus there is a drawing taking place where I could win one of his posters.
http://jimlepage.com/word-designs/

Chronological School of Biblical Studies AKA CSBS

I'm sorry I haven't written an update until now. I know I should of done it sooner and I'm sorry.

So, I'm in Tijuana, Mexico doing YWAM's School of Biblical studies! It wasn't what I was originally planning to do this year but God changed my plans and told me to be here. So here I am and I am already seeing why God wanted me here. I've only studied the first 4 books of the bible and I've been brought to tears more than once because of the depth of love that God has for his people.
If you don't know, what we do in the CSBS is inductively study the bible in the order that it is in. So at the beginning of the week we separate into groups and read the book that we are studying, out loud, in one sitting. During the week we have lectures where a teacher or guest speaker teaches the background on the book. And from what we learn in class we have different homework assignments. Most of the time we have to chart out the book, that is where we observe everything we can find in each chapter and then from that we find an interpretation and an application of how it affects our life and how it could affect the church or the people around us.
We also have to do some background information on our own too. We have to find internal and external sources on Who wrote the book, When the book was written, Who the book was written too and figure out the mindset of the author and the mindset of who the book was written to. It can be very tedious but it is required if you want to be able to really dig deep into the the book and gather great insight into the reason the book was written.
When I tell people about the school I'm doing usually the response is "Oh, I could never do that". My response usually is that, I can't either. It's not easy, and the only way I've making it through right now is only with God's grace and revelation. I have a love/hate relationship with my studies. I can feel myself truly growing and creating an amazing foundation in God's word. But it's so much work!!! I know by the end of the nine months I will never want to trade this time for anything though. The relationship that is growing between me and God is becoming deeper and so much sweeter the more I learn about the things he has done and is doing for his people.

Oh! The base I'm at is beautiful. It is located about 15 minutes outside of Tijuana and is about 2 blocks away from the Pacific Ocean. All the buildings here are fairly newly built and done very beautifully. The CSBSers have two double wide trailers that we stay in. We were put in the trailers because they are better long term spaces because they have little kitchenettes and more space than the base dormitories.

So in about an hour our CSBS is leaving on a "wilderness wandering" camping trip. We are doing this to get even more into the mindset of the Israelites, We are studying them at the moment and they are wandering in the wilderness too. Also we are going just to have fun. Not that our group has had a lack of fun. On the coupl of nights that we have had off we have gone into town to karaoke and to dance. It's been a great time of bonding and becoming a great group of friends. There are 9 of us, a girl from cambodia, a girl from switzerland, 2 of us girls and 3 guys from the states and two more guys from canada. Also, my friend Jesse Evans and his wife Becky are the leaders of the school!

Unfortunately because of all the homework I haven't had much time to participate in the different ministries that are going on here at the base. But the base has some amazing, fruitful ministry going on. There is Homes of Hope, where almost every weekend a missions team comes down to build a house for the poor in Tijuana. Also there are jail, street kids, and homeless ministries that are going on every week. I'm sure there are other ones too that I have forgotten to mention. I hope that some time soon I get a good handle on the homework so I can join in a ministry!

Well my friends, I should go pack. Thanks for reading and hopefully I can get an update out more often.
Much Love,
Nicole

The base's coffee shop I love studying in.

Early morning prank us girls pulled on one of the guys.

He had pet turtles and in the midst of the prank war we had the night before we stole the turtles and set them up for breakfast at his desk the next morning.

View from the window of my coffee shop.

Our Trailers.

Ottawa

Hey guys!
I wanted to update you on what has been going on with me these past couple of days. At the moment I am in the city of Ottawa doing evangelism here as like a starter for outreach. The first day here we went to Canada's national house of prayer. The people there are so passionate about praying for their government, it's infective. So there we learned all about Canadian government and then walked to Parliament Hill, and took time to pray and intercede for the government. The next morning we split up into smaller groups and prayed over a map of Ottawa and asked God where he wanted us to go in the city. This was such an amazing experience. Our team was very unenthusiastic and tired in the morning when we were praying. And only two people in our group felt like God had spoken to us. I got the word manchester and another guy felt like we should do some work in a soup kitchen or food place. So we looked up where manchester ave. was and went there. When we got there we were so confused, Manchester ave. is a little dingy street with four run down houses on it. So we parked and started walking towards it when we noticed a mosque across the street. And we felt like we should go there and pray by it. On our way there we saw these signs saying "food bank that way". God could not of spoken more clearly to us. Even though at first we didn't think that "manchester" of "soup kitchen" but we ended up going to the food bank and asking the people there if they needed any help. The workers there were so open and excited for us to work with them. We spent most of the day just stocking and organizing the back closet of food. We then took a time to pray for them. It was such an amazing experience for us all.
On monday I got a call from Indiana Wesleyan University saying that I had been accepted into the school. I have also been invited to be staff on the YWAM base in Dunham. So I have very exciting opportunities ahead of me after DTS. But after getting the call from IWU and talking with friends about it I am feeling very called to be staff here on the YWAM base. What the means is that I would commit to working on the base during the off season and staffing the arts and music DTS for two years. This is so exciting for me, I have been impacted a lot by the leaders on my DTS and I want to be able to be used by God in the same way to impact others lives.
Another thing that has been going is finances, God has blessed be extremely through family and friends with close to one thousand dollars for outreach. The way that has been happening is extremely amazing and I am so thankful for all he has done so far. I'm still short 1768.11. As much as it is against my nature to trust God with this I am trying. Daily I have a small panic attack but then God reminds me that he chose me to go Brazil and he will make a way as long as I'm faithful.
So here I go... trusting God to miraculously bring in the rest of my finances, to show me whether or not I am supposed to be staff next semester or go to college and that he will continually working in the lives of the people in Ottawa....

Family

Hello Friends!
It's insane that this is the last week of lectures and then in two weeks I will be boarding a plane to Brazil! It's very bittersweet, I am so excited to go to Brazil but I'm going to miss the rest of the DTS and the other friends I have here on the base. Everyone here is like a second family to me.
Recently though I've been getting closer to my outreach team as we have two meetings together a week where we just get to know each other or plan things for outreach. But mostly we have been working on getting visa's for Brazil. Which we thought was going really well, till we got to the consulate in Monteal and turned our papers in we found out that our case requires a different type of visa, so we have to wait on a lot of paper work to be done and then reapply again. So PLEASE be praying that the paper work gets done quickly and correctly. Our team has been praying and know that God has already got it covered but support from family and friends never hurt anything.
Thanks for checking in!
Love you,
Nicole Hope